Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Catherine Moody, Gypsy Spirit

My dear friends, the time has come for me to pull up my roots and move on.

There are many reasons for this. My RL alter ego is quite busy with work these days. It is unlikely that I will have the time, or energy, to make any of my items worthy for sale any time soon. If I were paying my own tier fees, it wouldn't seem reasonable to be paying for empty shop space. Similarly, I don't see the point of taking up my friends' prim allotments with unfinished goods. I was born a wandering gypsy, and perhaps I am still one at heart. As I wrote in a previous post, I am after all a musician, a mistress of the ephemeral:
They are not visions set in distant lands,
Nor words that speak of kings and maidens fair,
Nor shapes of wood and stone that I command —
But invisible vibrations of the air
That dance and fade. Guided by my hands,
Inspired by my soul, through time they weave
Like shadow-creatures cast by rustling leaves
Or patterns wrought by waves upon the sand.
It is also time for me to renounce the material world. I will pack up my belongings and remove visible signs of my presence, and with that I will drop my financial responsibilities to my friends (except FD — I may send donations his way if they come to me). I will play no longer for tips, but for friendship. Maybe I will visit my mommy's salon every now and then to play in intimate little soirĂ©es for sweet people, and get to know them, and talk about art and feelings and share chicken soup for the soul. My cat will become a pet again, rather than a slave. I need no food nor shelter, just the comfort of company of understanding souls. That is dearer than money can buy.

Catherine Moody, 2007-7-12.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

:(

/me waves goodbye with a tear in her eye,
waving to her sister, glad she hasn't missed her,
/me siiiighs, and guesses this is part of Life,
beginnings and endings, at least it doesn't involve a knife.

You will be missed, and you will not be forgotten (;_;)... Alpha (v.v)/

Anonymous said...

:(

I will not say goodbye - I will hold you always close to my heart, and my arms will always be open to you.

I still wish that I could convince you that it's not about the prims or the tier - that those things matter not. You are not and never have been any kind of burden on any of us... but you have brought great joy. You in particular have had a profound impact on my life, both [rl] and [sl] and that is something that cannot go away.

Wander if you must, follow your spirit's call, but please don't forget to stop stop in for a hug once in a while. You need them as much as I... maybe more just now.

I love you my dear, and always will.

FD Spark said...

Catherine, while I have appreciated your gifts from your tips I would never expect this from you.
I decided bit ago myself to only create for fun and friendship because when I was doing it for money or business purposes it just stressed me out, brought up all my frusterations, insecurities and then there was the "this isn't enough, why aren't I getting paid more" syndrome and I didn't like how or what it was turning me into.
In real life I am quite poor, I guess if I really wanted to consume and acquire more I could if it really been the most important thing to me and I even tempted different things but health, life and just for personal reasons this didn't turn out. Why would I torture myself in same ways I do in SL for things I haven't been able to acquire in RL?
Anyway if you're busy and need to take care of your first life that good, if you're just stressed out and feeling overly obligated in SL you're friends, especially myself would never ask of something or some type of commitment that would make you stressed or unhappy. I hope you know that. You will always have a home at least in my heart and place if you ever need it. I don't mind sharing my prims.

Jennifer Mahoney said...

:(

You have that spark of life that, on more than one occasion, brought brought my spirits up when I really needed a boost.

I hope that I am able to catch one of those intimate little soirées if you pop in world to play. Your music is incredible.

My prayers go with you on your journey. You will be missed.

FD Spark said...

Catherine when you get chance please read this.
http://fdspark.blogspot.com/2007/07/small-gifts-that-keep-giving.html

Alphonsus said...

Catherine, I do hope that you will not forget us. I remember the first time I met you, playing in Tyrol's garden. You're music quite literally awed me. Yes, I know that in your eyes it is not perfect, but to me, it was as perfect as I could distinguish. I can't tell you how honored I was that you took the time to speak with me and befriend me. Your wisdom has more than once given me a glimpse of enlightenment and your carefree playfulness has also more than once brought a smile to my face no matter how blue I was feeling.

Catherine, it sounds like your RL alter ego has a rich and full life, and that you have many friends. Such relationships must be treasured, and they of course take precedence over us distant souls in SL. I can only speak for myself, but I, as a person in RL who has difficulty making friends, take my SL friendships quite seriously. So, when you do come in world, I ask that you do wander in our direction from time to time, and I would long to hear your music once again.

Until we meet again...

Alphonsus

P.S.
I never got the chance to respond to your response to one of Mykyl's blog posts, but let me tell you that from my perspective, what happened to FD was evil, yes. But what you have done as a response is not evil. It is the result of being imperfectly human. All my perfect human friends have assured me of this. You can kick yourself all you want for not meeting your definition of perfection. But let me assure you that all that you will end up as a result is a sense of depression and a black and blue butt. And even that is not evil. It just makes it hurt to sit down sometimes.

Catherine Moody said...

Friends, friends, I'm not leaving this world. Sorry I wasn't clear. What I meant is that instead of sitting around in the same places and worrying about how to make lindens grow, I should spend my time travelling, exploring, and making new friends. Then I would have new experiences to share with you too, when I saw you. Rather than being involved in land-based groups, I should be concentrating on the musical societies, the poetry guild, and even the New Citzens[sic] Tourist Club. I should be doing art for art's sake, not worrying about how to make income balance expenditure. I should start playing with my cat again....

I don't think this is really fleeing from evil. My friends' groups are not evil. Rather, I need to rediscover myself, the old Catherine Moody... or rather, the young Catherine Moody. (Language plays such tricks on us some times!) It's paradoxical that sometimes in putting down our roots [settling down], we lose track of our roots [how we started out], and in pulling up our roots we find our roots again. Evil Catherine was a result of me trying to be who I'm not, and getting frustrated. Actually this isn't making much sense. Ah, whatever, never mind.

FD Spark said...

Yes my theory of evil Catherine was in pursuit for popularity and wealth she became overburden with success and need to acquire more, so much so she grew frusterated, depressed, judgemental of her own flaws, that she began to lash out those who cared deeply for her as way of coping.