Will finish reading when I have time.
http://www.poeticbyway.com/philo.htm
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wildstar's pictures of me
Wildstar took some lovely pictures of me at Alphonsus and Princess' wedding in Faeria Palace.
ttp://farm3.static.flickr.com/2018/1679158174_e457e839a3.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2012/1678337257_c928d6ba99.jpg
ttp://farm3.static.flickr.com/2018/1679158174_e457e839a3.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2012/1678337257_c928d6ba99.jpg
Monday, October 22, 2007
[RL] Scientific thoughts on art
(How might this be relevant to SL? Well, all art presented in SL has been digitized and sampled at a relatively low resolution -- 1024x1024 for visual art, 44kHz 128kbps MP3 for music; this begs the question: how much can one reduce the resolution before human art becomes indistinguishable from computer-generated art? What is it that makes some textures worth more than others, some sounds more than others? Can one really say that there is "feeling" contained within an MP3 consisting of a few tens of millions of 1's and 0's?)
Dimensionality:
As far as a listener is concerned, a piece of music can be represented by a scalar function of time. (Well, actually, two functions of time -- one for the right ear and one for the left -- and perhaps a few auxiliary functions representing other sensory input such as changes in perceived sound due to turning of the head and resonances of the whole body to low-pitched sounds.) Written poetry is a discrete function in two-dimensional space (its "atoms" are individual letters); spoken poetry is a continuous function in one-dimensional time. Still visual art is a three-dimensional function (with red, green, and blue components -- or hue, saturation, and value) of two-dimensional space. Sculptures are 3D. Motion pictures are 2+1D.
This method of representation is not very useful for humans; we perceive things differently from a computer or measuring instrument. We have structures in our ears that resonate at different frequencies; we perceive sound not as a waveform, but more as a sequence of wavelets; we cannot pinpoint exact details of waveforms, but we can "feel" subtle "correlation" effects that a computer would be unable to identify. Perhaps MIDI is a more meaningful description of music than 24-bit PCM. From this viewpoint, music is not merely a one-dimensional function of time; there may be many parts playing simultaneously, and each of these can have intricate changes of pitch (including vibrato), volume, tempo, timbre (attack, decay, harmonic content), note duration (articulation), and so on. Each of these aspects is like a new dimension. So, one can sacrifice the fine-grained time resolution (44kHz) of the one-dimensional description, and gain a picture of multiple parts moving through multi-dimensional space in a carefully orchestrated, highly correlated manner. Similarly for other art forms.
Correlations:
One can define correlation functions (of a PCM representation or of a MIDI representation) relating signals at two or more times. If the correlation in a piece of art decays exponentially, with a correlation length (for visual art) or correlation time (for music) that is less than the extent of the picture or the duration of the piece, then the work essentially consists of two or more unrelated sections -- one might argue that it should really be split up. My guess is that for good art there must be at least one correlation function that maintains a reasonable value throughout the work (i.e., the "system" has "long-range order" or at least "quasi-long-range order") ... This is about the principle of coherence/unity/continuity in art.... e.g., even in long symphonies lasting an hour, there is coherence -- it is the same instruments that are being used, the starting and ending keys are the same, etc. Of course, one should remember that anticorrelation is a form of correlation (the correlation function goes negative) -- so a poem could contain a section describing "whiteness" and another section describing "blackness" and it would still be strongly correlated by my definition.
Surprisingly, the information content (Shannon entropy?) of a correlated pattern is LESS than that of an uncorrelated one. That seems to say that we make something more artistic by reducing its information content. On the other hand, a completely random pattern (e.g., spam) has maximal information content, and it is not art. Hence there must be a certain optimal information content. Speculation: correlation functions must not decay to zero immediately [completely disordered phase], nor should they be too close to unity over the whole work [strongly ordered phase]; maybe quasi-long-range order is desirable, i.e., correlation functions decaying as power laws of space and time. ... like at a critical point, a phase transition? ... which occurs near an instability? ... Does it take a mind "at a critical point" to produce such work? There has been research showing that the neural networks in our brains are very near criticality, so that a single input (stimulus) will trigger an avalanche of events corresponding to useful computation; epilepsy occurs when something tips the balance (of the "chain reaction") from slightly subcritical to supercritical.
Dimensionality:
As far as a listener is concerned, a piece of music can be represented by a scalar function of time. (Well, actually, two functions of time -- one for the right ear and one for the left -- and perhaps a few auxiliary functions representing other sensory input such as changes in perceived sound due to turning of the head and resonances of the whole body to low-pitched sounds.) Written poetry is a discrete function in two-dimensional space (its "atoms" are individual letters); spoken poetry is a continuous function in one-dimensional time. Still visual art is a three-dimensional function (with red, green, and blue components -- or hue, saturation, and value) of two-dimensional space. Sculptures are 3D. Motion pictures are 2+1D.
This method of representation is not very useful for humans; we perceive things differently from a computer or measuring instrument. We have structures in our ears that resonate at different frequencies; we perceive sound not as a waveform, but more as a sequence of wavelets; we cannot pinpoint exact details of waveforms, but we can "feel" subtle "correlation" effects that a computer would be unable to identify. Perhaps MIDI is a more meaningful description of music than 24-bit PCM. From this viewpoint, music is not merely a one-dimensional function of time; there may be many parts playing simultaneously, and each of these can have intricate changes of pitch (including vibrato), volume, tempo, timbre (attack, decay, harmonic content), note duration (articulation), and so on. Each of these aspects is like a new dimension. So, one can sacrifice the fine-grained time resolution (44kHz) of the one-dimensional description, and gain a picture of multiple parts moving through multi-dimensional space in a carefully orchestrated, highly correlated manner. Similarly for other art forms.
Correlations:
One can define correlation functions (of a PCM representation or of a MIDI representation) relating signals at two or more times. If the correlation in a piece of art decays exponentially, with a correlation length (for visual art) or correlation time (for music) that is less than the extent of the picture or the duration of the piece, then the work essentially consists of two or more unrelated sections -- one might argue that it should really be split up. My guess is that for good art there must be at least one correlation function that maintains a reasonable value throughout the work (i.e., the "system" has "long-range order" or at least "quasi-long-range order") ... This is about the principle of coherence/unity/continuity in art.... e.g., even in long symphonies lasting an hour, there is coherence -- it is the same instruments that are being used, the starting and ending keys are the same, etc. Of course, one should remember that anticorrelation is a form of correlation (the correlation function goes negative) -- so a poem could contain a section describing "whiteness" and another section describing "blackness" and it would still be strongly correlated by my definition.
Surprisingly, the information content (Shannon entropy?) of a correlated pattern is LESS than that of an uncorrelated one. That seems to say that we make something more artistic by reducing its information content. On the other hand, a completely random pattern (e.g., spam) has maximal information content, and it is not art. Hence there must be a certain optimal information content. Speculation: correlation functions must not decay to zero immediately [completely disordered phase], nor should they be too close to unity over the whole work [strongly ordered phase]; maybe quasi-long-range order is desirable, i.e., correlation functions decaying as power laws of space and time. ... like at a critical point, a phase transition? ... which occurs near an instability? ... Does it take a mind "at a critical point" to produce such work? There has been research showing that the neural networks in our brains are very near criticality, so that a single input (stimulus) will trigger an avalanche of events corresponding to useful computation; epilepsy occurs when something tips the balance (of the "chain reaction") from slightly subcritical to supercritical.
Poetry...
... is a wonderful thing, isn't it? So much information can be packed into a short piece. Even titles can be significant. Compare these three poems:
[Meroveus Merlin hates the "non-word 'the'", saying that it conveys no information whatsoever -- work this into the discussion] In contrast, Ada Radius' piece is a humorous, endearing sonnet about her own dog and its foibles. Finally, my poem could have been called "My Cat", or "Daisy", but I chose "Midel's Gift" (probably subconsciously) to emphasize that the "free little white cat" was a priceless gift that would remain with me (and even help to shape my identity) forever.
1. "The Cat" by Alan Parker (of RL)In "The Cat", Parker picks up a stray, worm-ridden cat; he keeps it in quarantine; he doesn't even like cats, but yet something compels him to take care of this cat, to give it more space. The word "the" in the title conveys the feeling that the writer is trying to distance himself from the cat, emotionally (as opposed to "My Cat"); however, "the" is the definite article, which gives that particular cat a special identity -- it is not just any random cat (the title is "The Cat", not "Cats").
2. "My Molly" by Ada Radius
3. "Midel's Gift" by me
[Meroveus Merlin hates the "non-word 'the'", saying that it conveys no information whatsoever -- work this into the discussion] In contrast, Ada Radius' piece is a humorous, endearing sonnet about her own dog and its foibles. Finally, my poem could have been called "My Cat", or "Daisy", but I chose "Midel's Gift" (probably subconsciously) to emphasize that the "free little white cat" was a priceless gift that would remain with me (and even help to shape my identity) forever.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Fun at the Blue Angel poetry dive
Persephone Phoenix: Tonight's challenge is to write a portrait poem.
Persephone Phoenix: Mhm. To write a poem that's aim is to capture the essence of someone. If that isn't enough of a challenge, try writing about someone you know from sl. :)
Persephone Phoenix: So be thinking of one.
...
Persephone Phoenix: Then up next can I please get Catherine?
Catherine Moody: Me? Ok, well.
Catherine Moody: This is a portrait of a certain Melissa who attended my concerts
Catherine Moody: and was really nice to talk to, by the way... :
Catherine Moody: hair
Catherine Moody: face
Catherine Moody: chin
Catherine Moody: shoulders
Catherine Moody: boooooob boooooob
Catherine Moody: boooooob boooooob
Catherine Moody: boooooob boooooob
Catherine Moody: boooooob boooooob
Catherine Moody: boooooob boooooob
Catherine Moody: boooooob boooooob
Catherine Moody: boooooob boooooob
Catherine Moody: boooooob boooooob
Catherine Moody: leg leg
Catherine Moody: foot foot.
Catherine Moody: Thank you!
Ina Centaur: hahahhahahhahaahhahahahha
Ina Centaur claps!!!!
Mariner Trilling: lol
Jamys Vuckovic ROFLs
Cyperia Heron: Great!
Gracie Kendal: Woooo
Ina Centaur: boooooooooooooooooooooooooob
ollivia Schnyder: expressive one
Calliope Delgado falls out of the chair laughing
Hypatia Dejavu is Offline
Mariner Trilling: yay booooob
Bobby Goode: ROFLMAO
Persephone Phoenix: haha!!!!!
Catherine Moody: No, really, I'm serious, they were huge.
Ina Centaur: so clever!! lmfao
Persephone Phoenix: Love your use of space there, Catherine!
Persephone Phoenix: Applause!!
Persephone Phoenix: Applause!!
Catherine Moody: I suspect she did it on purpose
Catherine Moody: to mock the SL barbie look.
Persephone Phoenix: haha
Jamys Vuckovic: Janitor... cleanup in aisle six... someone laughed their ass off again
Catherine Moody: HA HA HA Jamys.
ollivia Schnyder: visual poetry nearlyollivia Schnyder: ;)
Persephone Phoenix grins and agrees with ollivia.
Ina Centaur: armless though
Ina Centaur: boobarms :-D
Catherine Moody: Oops, sorry.
Calliope Delgado: I can see it in pring
Calliope Delgado: print, that is
Bobby Goode: Just hiding 'em
Calliope Delgado: boob in a 150 font size
Ina Centaur: boob in size 150 spanning for 42 pages ;-P
Catherine Moody: I knew I wouldn't be able to come up with iambic pentameter again this time, so I thought, do something easy :-)
Jamys Vuckovic: I think I met that girl
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Catherine Moody, Gypsy Spirit
My dear friends, the time has come for me to pull up my roots and move on.
There are many reasons for this. My RL alter ego is quite busy with work these days. It is unlikely that I will have the time, or energy, to make any of my items worthy for sale any time soon. If I were paying my own tier fees, it wouldn't seem reasonable to be paying for empty shop space. Similarly, I don't see the point of taking up my friends' prim allotments with unfinished goods. I was born a wandering gypsy, and perhaps I am still one at heart. As I wrote in a previous post, I am after all a musician, a mistress of the ephemeral:
Catherine Moody, 2007-7-12.
There are many reasons for this. My RL alter ego is quite busy with work these days. It is unlikely that I will have the time, or energy, to make any of my items worthy for sale any time soon. If I were paying my own tier fees, it wouldn't seem reasonable to be paying for empty shop space. Similarly, I don't see the point of taking up my friends' prim allotments with unfinished goods. I was born a wandering gypsy, and perhaps I am still one at heart. As I wrote in a previous post, I am after all a musician, a mistress of the ephemeral:
They are not visions set in distant lands,It is also time for me to renounce the material world. I will pack up my belongings and remove visible signs of my presence, and with that I will drop my financial responsibilities to my friends (except FD — I may send donations his way if they come to me). I will play no longer for tips, but for friendship. Maybe I will visit my mommy's salon every now and then to play in intimate little soirées for sweet people, and get to know them, and talk about art and feelings and share chicken soup for the soul. My cat will become a pet again, rather than a slave. I need no food nor shelter, just the comfort of company of understanding souls. That is dearer than money can buy.
Nor words that speak of kings and maidens fair,
Nor shapes of wood and stone that I command —
But invisible vibrations of the air
That dance and fade. Guided by my hands,
Inspired by my soul, through time they weave
Like shadow-creatures cast by rustling leaves
Or patterns wrought by waves upon the sand.
Catherine Moody, 2007-7-12.
Wrestling with Evil — or Fleeing from It?
[sl] I hate writing in this blog. I only write when something powerful forces me to do so. In this case, it is because I see with horror how things in our world relate to that place we call Real Life.
Mykyl, I am sorry if we upset you last Saturday. And I believe FD is sorry too; from the e-mail he sent me, it seems he was much affected by your post. ... "All she did is sigh and didn't say anything truthfully I am not sure if I will be going back to PHC anytime soon.. I also thought Mykyl had clue why I was doing this project but now I feel like she didn't understand anything:("
The problem lies deeper than this though.
[rl] Let me tell you a story that happened some years back. I was in a pub one evening with a large group of colleagues, something I don't do very often. The beer was flowing and people were getting happy. One guy, who was an entertaining but controversial character — let's call him Beta — started telling a story about horrible things that another guy, Gamma, had done. Being very naive, I swallowed the story eagerly, saying "Oh my gosh! Really?" as I listenened. It hadn't occurred to me that maybe Beta was drunk and his tale was not to be taken literally.
Much later on, I was talking to another friend of mine, a small and shy person, to whom I will give the pseudonym "Delta". The conversation turned to Beta, and quite unexpectedly, Delta said, "I don't like Beta. He said some horrible things about one of my friends, which were completely untrue." Now, "don't like" was unusually strong language for Delta, who, as I said, was small and shy and polite. Again, my immediate response was: "Oh my gosh! Really?"
Later on I reflected upon these events. It seemed likely that Delta was talking about what Beta had said at the pub that night; I knew Gamma to be one of Delta's friends. I recalled that Delta had been present at the gathering. Now, if Delta knew the story to be false, why, then, did he not speak up and expose the untruth, to preserve the honor of his friend Gamma? Even if he hadn't been present, couldn't he have requested a public apology from Beta after finding out what had been said?
In today's world, courage is not necessarily about dying for one's country/crusade/jihad, about performing dangerous feats without safety nets, or about defending oneself from armed robbers. Courage can be about speaking the truth on behalf of your friends, or at least, what you believe to be the truth. Courage, however, is a side issue. The point is that we each have an implicit responsibility to defend our friends from evil (such as slander).
[sl] Now let us turn to last Saturday's incident. Insofar as the "evil" we were presenting was fictional:
Mykyl, you wrote: "I have chosen to share that light in the form of Faeria.... I did not like even the portrayal of evil there, it just seemed wrong to me — but I made a choice between letting my own darkness lash out at them and simply walking away and letting it be."
If Faeria is truly a light, and if you are truly Queene, then it is within your power to prevent evil (even perceived evil) happening in Faeria, and to replace it with light and happiness. In fact, it is part of your duty.
I believe FD intends his story is to have a happy ending. It appears to be so, from the Introduction to his adventure story... HAS ANYONE EVEN READ the drafts of his adventure story?! ... :
By the way, I'm not talking about military intervention here — "Oh, let's go nuke the terrorists and the Axis of Evil until there's none of 'em left!" I'm talking about using the gentle voice of love. FD's adventure story — HAS ANYONE EVEN READ THE DRAFT? — is not a fairy tale where the Good Guys and the Bad Guys duke it out and the Good Guys eventually thrash the Bad Guys. The evil that FD writes about is subtle and mysterious. It is more about corruption of the mind, about "lies", "thoughts that make all who hear turn against all the hold dear", than any sort of physical violence. FD's good is not victory, glory, majesty, triumph, fireworks, flags flying high; it is friendship, creativity, balance, fairness and truth.
The gentle voice of love. That brings me to the most important section of my post:
[rl] SL is a mirror of RL. Yes, FD's story is supposed to be a story. But there is something real behind it too. FD has been talking about "evil FD", the little voice in his head that tells him he is upset and frustrated, that he is powerless to do anything. Catherine has been increasingly moody, depressed, and violent for the last couple of weeks.
(To the reader:) When you see people behaving "evilly", how often do you stop and ask yourself why they are behaving that way? Have you tried to understand them at all? Understanding doesn't necessarily mean that you find justification for their behavior, and start doing it yourself. Understanding gives you a chance of being able to help them.
[rl] Let me tell you another story that happened some years back. My life was falling to pieces. I was moody, perpetually tired, plagued with nightmares, and beginning to show signs of violence and hostile behavior — "evil", in fact. I had three or four friends from my musical volunteer group, which I was still participating in. We were not all that close at that time. They only saw me once or twice a week. Nevertheless, they became concerned about me. I had started glaring at them and telling them I hated them, for no reason. One night we were sitting in a cafe, where we were regulars. They asked me how I had been. I said, I had watched Big Cat Week on tv every day at the same time, and it was so nice to see the cheetahs and the little lion cubs, and then I put my face in my hands and started sobbing for no apparent reason. They said, this isn't normal, we worry about you, you have to see a doctor. Which doctor are you registered with? Make an appointment to see her. Promise us that you will make an appointment. We won't stop bugging you until you do it. We'll call her on your behalf if you prefer. We care about you. ... I made an appointment. The two of my friends who were able to make it met me in town and walked there with me. They sat with me during the consultation. After asking gentle questions and taking notes, the doctor said it was clear that I had clinical depression; she gave me a prescription for Citalopram, 20mg a day, to take to a pharmacy, and arranged for me to see a cognitive-behavioral therapist. My friends hugged me and let me cry on their shoulders as they walked me home.
Catherine has been increasingly moody, depressed, and violent for the last couple of weeks. Her friends say they care, but the feeling isn't the same as what I had with my RL friends. I'm really thankful they were there when I needed them. They didn't "simply walk away and let it be."
[sl] I can't be bothered, but I thought of putting on this blog a photograph of me committing seppuku, replete with blood and gore, and this caption: "If this bothers you, go dancing to help yourself forget about it."
[rl] Well, "walk away and let it be" is a common attitude in our society.
This is the attitude of our society that allowed Cho Seung-hui to go through life the way he did and to achieve his everlasting fame.
This attitude I do not like.
This attitude is evil.
Mykyl, I am sorry if we upset you last Saturday. And I believe FD is sorry too; from the e-mail he sent me, it seems he was much affected by your post. ... "All she did is sigh and didn't say anything truthfully I am not sure if I will be going back to PHC anytime soon.. I also thought Mykyl had clue why I was doing this project but now I feel like she didn't understand anything:("
The problem lies deeper than this though.
[rl] Let me tell you a story that happened some years back. I was in a pub one evening with a large group of colleagues, something I don't do very often. The beer was flowing and people were getting happy. One guy, who was an entertaining but controversial character — let's call him Beta — started telling a story about horrible things that another guy, Gamma, had done. Being very naive, I swallowed the story eagerly, saying "Oh my gosh! Really?" as I listenened. It hadn't occurred to me that maybe Beta was drunk and his tale was not to be taken literally.
Much later on, I was talking to another friend of mine, a small and shy person, to whom I will give the pseudonym "Delta". The conversation turned to Beta, and quite unexpectedly, Delta said, "I don't like Beta. He said some horrible things about one of my friends, which were completely untrue." Now, "don't like" was unusually strong language for Delta, who, as I said, was small and shy and polite. Again, my immediate response was: "Oh my gosh! Really?"
Later on I reflected upon these events. It seemed likely that Delta was talking about what Beta had said at the pub that night; I knew Gamma to be one of Delta's friends. I recalled that Delta had been present at the gathering. Now, if Delta knew the story to be false, why, then, did he not speak up and expose the untruth, to preserve the honor of his friend Gamma? Even if he hadn't been present, couldn't he have requested a public apology from Beta after finding out what had been said?
In today's world, courage is not necessarily about dying for one's country/crusade/jihad, about performing dangerous feats without safety nets, or about defending oneself from armed robbers. Courage can be about speaking the truth on behalf of your friends, or at least, what you believe to be the truth. Courage, however, is a side issue. The point is that we each have an implicit responsibility to defend our friends from evil (such as slander).
[sl] Now let us turn to last Saturday's incident. Insofar as the "evil" we were presenting was fictional:
Mykyl, you wrote: "I have chosen to share that light in the form of Faeria.... I did not like even the portrayal of evil there, it just seemed wrong to me — but I made a choice between letting my own darkness lash out at them and simply walking away and letting it be."
If Faeria is truly a light, and if you are truly Queene, then it is within your power to prevent evil (even perceived evil) happening in Faeria, and to replace it with light and happiness. In fact, it is part of your duty.
I believe FD intends his story is to have a happy ending. It appears to be so, from the Introduction to his adventure story... HAS ANYONE EVEN READ the drafts of his adventure story?! ... :
... There is only one group of friends that exist to me within my reality who has any hope of overcoming the dark forces that taken over Third Life and bringing back the forces of friendship, creativity and teamwork back to the grid. ...For the story to have a happy ending, the characters must somehow "shed their evil robes" and return to the light. Queen Mykyl, your role was clearly spelled out for you. (I was going to write, "If you don't feel comfortable pretending evil, why don't you be a good guy instead?" Then I read FD's draft carefully and saw this.) FD didn't intend you to "turn evil briefly before being rescued"; you were supposed to be the rescuer! Instead, you chose to "walk away and let it be"....
Queen Mykyl is secret member of the order but also the Queen of Faeria, she is in charge of creating garden like Villages in middle of dark chaos of the Third life grid providing refugee, friendship, guidance and magic to all who stumble upon her or in need of her protection.
By the way, I'm not talking about military intervention here — "Oh, let's go nuke the terrorists and the Axis of Evil until there's none of 'em left!" I'm talking about using the gentle voice of love. FD's adventure story — HAS ANYONE EVEN READ THE DRAFT? — is not a fairy tale where the Good Guys and the Bad Guys duke it out and the Good Guys eventually thrash the Bad Guys. The evil that FD writes about is subtle and mysterious. It is more about corruption of the mind, about "lies", "thoughts that make all who hear turn against all the hold dear", than any sort of physical violence. FD's good is not victory, glory, majesty, triumph, fireworks, flags flying high; it is friendship, creativity, balance, fairness and truth.
The gentle voice of love. That brings me to the most important section of my post:
[rl] SL is a mirror of RL. Yes, FD's story is supposed to be a story. But there is something real behind it too. FD has been talking about "evil FD", the little voice in his head that tells him he is upset and frustrated, that he is powerless to do anything. Catherine has been increasingly moody, depressed, and violent for the last couple of weeks.
(To the reader:) When you see people behaving "evilly", how often do you stop and ask yourself why they are behaving that way? Have you tried to understand them at all? Understanding doesn't necessarily mean that you find justification for their behavior, and start doing it yourself. Understanding gives you a chance of being able to help them.
[rl] Let me tell you another story that happened some years back. My life was falling to pieces. I was moody, perpetually tired, plagued with nightmares, and beginning to show signs of violence and hostile behavior — "evil", in fact. I had three or four friends from my musical volunteer group, which I was still participating in. We were not all that close at that time. They only saw me once or twice a week. Nevertheless, they became concerned about me. I had started glaring at them and telling them I hated them, for no reason. One night we were sitting in a cafe, where we were regulars. They asked me how I had been. I said, I had watched Big Cat Week on tv every day at the same time, and it was so nice to see the cheetahs and the little lion cubs, and then I put my face in my hands and started sobbing for no apparent reason. They said, this isn't normal, we worry about you, you have to see a doctor. Which doctor are you registered with? Make an appointment to see her. Promise us that you will make an appointment. We won't stop bugging you until you do it. We'll call her on your behalf if you prefer. We care about you. ... I made an appointment. The two of my friends who were able to make it met me in town and walked there with me. They sat with me during the consultation. After asking gentle questions and taking notes, the doctor said it was clear that I had clinical depression; she gave me a prescription for Citalopram, 20mg a day, to take to a pharmacy, and arranged for me to see a cognitive-behavioral therapist. My friends hugged me and let me cry on their shoulders as they walked me home.
Catherine has been increasingly moody, depressed, and violent for the last couple of weeks. Her friends say they care, but the feeling isn't the same as what I had with my RL friends. I'm really thankful they were there when I needed them. They didn't "simply walk away and let it be."
[sl] I can't be bothered, but I thought of putting on this blog a photograph of me committing seppuku, replete with blood and gore, and this caption: "If this bothers you, go dancing to help yourself forget about it."
[rl] Well, "walk away and let it be" is a common attitude in our society.
This is the attitude of our society that allowed Cho Seung-hui to go through life the way he did and to achieve his everlasting fame.
This attitude I do not like.
This attitude is evil.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Thoughts on a misinterpretation of Shakespeare
Woohoo! Prospero Frobozz read my blog and left a comment. I have friends! I'm famous! Hahaha! Just kidding. Thank you Prospero and thank you for coming to my recital yesterday!
Regarding misinterpretations of Shakespeare, I came across an interesting one the other day. When Juliet cries, "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?", she is not asking Romeo to reveal his location. It is far more profound than that. "Wherefore" means "why": Juliet was asking why the fates had made Romeo part of the Montague family, with which her Capulets were locked in a feud. Here, and in the following dialogue, Shakespeare—through the voice of the character he has created—asks us some searching questions about the nature of "identity". Do we equate ourselves with our name?
Regarding misinterpretations of Shakespeare, I came across an interesting one the other day. When Juliet cries, "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?", she is not asking Romeo to reveal his location. It is far more profound than that. "Wherefore" means "why": Juliet was asking why the fates had made Romeo part of the Montague family, with which her Capulets were locked in a feud. Here, and in the following dialogue, Shakespeare—through the voice of the character he has created—asks us some searching questions about the nature of "identity". Do we equate ourselves with our name?
JULIETThe question of identity is especially relevant to our world. Our name tags float above our heads and we cannot hide them. Do we sometimes wish we could change our name to satisfy a loved one? Or, let's say you have fallen out with one of your friends. Can your alts be friends with each other?
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
http://www.online-literature.com/shakespeare/romeo_and_juliet/10/
A thought on respect
(In the context of being a classical musician in a predominantly non-classical environment:)
The way to earn respect is not to demand it, but to give it.
(The same with love and friendship.)
The way to earn respect is not to demand it, but to give it.
(The same with love and friendship.)
Thursday, June 28, 2007
We should not fear death...
When you eliminate all thoughts about life and death, you will be able to totally disregard your earthly life.
(Continued in "Comments".)
(Continued in "Comments".)
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Happy birthday SL
My first event at the SL Fourth Birthday Celebrations went well. It was nice to get a chance to play for my friends again. There were a couple of people there who were shouting obscenities at each other. I don't know why, but I thought it was kinda funny actually.
Afterwards I sat down and listened to the voices of the past to find out what I had missed and what people had said. I also looked at my accounts to see who had tipped me. It's very sad that I found myself thinking things like, "So-and-so said nice things during the concert, but only tipped a small amount." Friends, I tell you, money is the root of all evil. We would be much happier without it.
Afterwards I sat down and listened to the voices of the past to find out what I had missed and what people had said. I also looked at my accounts to see who had tipped me. It's very sad that I found myself thinking things like, "So-and-so said nice things during the concert, but only tipped a small amount." Friends, I tell you, money is the root of all evil. We would be much happier without it.
The History of Sound Recording and Reproduction
[With grateful acknowledgments to Wikipedia.]1877: Edison invents the phonograph.
1889: Berliner invents the gramophone disc.
1906: Lee De Forest invents the vacuum-tube amplifier.
1920s: Electrical recording begins to surpass mechanical recording in terms of sound fidelity.
1930s: Magnetic tape invented.
1940s: Vinyl records offer improved performance.
1947: Shockley, Bardeen and Brattain invent the transistor, which gradually replaces the vacuum tube and allows miniaturization of audio equipment.
1966: Dolby's noise reduction system brings a key advance in audio fidelity.
1983: Digital sound recording and compact discs initiate a massive wave of change in the consumer music industry. Typical consumer equipment today (2007) provides 24-bit audio (meaning that quantization noise is negligible, at -144dB), a signal-to-noise ratio of at least 93dB, and a total harmonic distortion of only 0.01% over 1kHz. This means that digital media can capture sound perfectly over a dynamic range of 90dB, from a soft whisper (20dB) up to the sound intensity at the front rows of a rock concert (110dB).
1990s: Audiences and music consumers demand higher and higher loudness. Recording engineers and broadcasters turn up the knobs in a loudness war, resulting in sound waveforms hitting the digital ceiling and causing distortion and a reduction of dynamic range. Today (2007) it is common for CDs to have RMS levels of -10dB to -5dB; the dynamic range is probably only 10-20dB, out of the possible 90dB. I don't know how to estimate how much "total harmonic distortion" is caused by the clipping; my guess is at least 1%, much greater than the intrinsic 0.01% specification of the equipment. The days of hi-fi are gone.
Please watch this two-minute video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Gmex_4hreQ, and have a look at the section called "Dynamic Range: Then and Now" near the bottom of this page: http://mixonline.com/mag/audio_big_squeeze/.
The video gives a good explanation, but it understates the severity of the issue. It suggests that signal clipping causes just the loss of drum transients and dynamic range. It has much worse effects than that. It causes utter destruction of tone quality for non-percussion instruments. Please compare the following recordings of the opening of Beethoven's Pathétique Sonata. The second one is boosted by 14dB relative to the first. (The files are 34 seconds long. They do not play properly in some players---sorry about that.)
PathetiqueOpeningOriginal.mp3
PathetiqueOpeningClipped.mp3
Friday, June 22, 2007
Seeking Balance
My dear fellow humans: we cut down trees. We wipe out species. We pollute the seas and emit greenhouse gases. We upset the balance of the ecosystem. This is why we need to have guns, so that we can kill each other more efficiently, solve the problem of overpopulation, and help the planet return to its natural equilibrium.
Here's how you can help save the world.
Here's how you can help save the world.
Shameless huckstering
As part of the Second Life 4th Birthday Celebrations, I will be giving a series of informal recitals:
Saturday Jun 23, 5PM SLT "An Evening of Bach" (to be confirmed)
Wednesday Jun 27, 4PM SLT (TBA)
Saturday Jun 30, 11AM SLT (TBA)
Saturday Jun 30, 8PM SLT (TBA)
Saturday Jun 23, 5PM SLT "An Evening of Bach" (to be confirmed)
Wednesday Jun 27, 4PM SLT (TBA)
Saturday Jun 30, 11AM SLT (TBA)
Saturday Jun 30, 8PM SLT (TBA)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Thank you, my friends
Today was a good day, and I learnt about the differences between moths and butterflies.
My dear friends, thank you for being with me. I love you all.
My dear friends, thank you for being with me. I love you all.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
I am giving up...
There is something telling me that I may just have to give up everything I had hoped for.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
[Mainly RL] In Defence of Cognition against Persecution
Curiosity is one of the greatest gifts of humankind. When observing nature, humans throughout the ages wondered about its workings. "What immortal hand or eye / Could frame thy fearful symmetry?"
Thus were born mythology and natural philosophy. Our understanding of the universe is now greater than ever. And yet it does not diminish our appreciation of it --- in fact, it should increase it, to know that there is so much more out there that we cannot see with the naked eye. We understand the behavior of light, and yet this does not prevent us from enjoying a clear blue sky or a brilliant sunset. We understand how the invisible hand of the wind is able to create tiny ripples or huge ocean waves, and yet this does not prevent us from standing on the beach, alone or with company, and staring out over the sea in awe.
Similarly, after we stand admiring a great work of art, or literature, or poetry, or music, that same natural instinct --- curiosity --- may compel us to try and understand the workings of the mind of the creator, out of reverence to him or her --- in the same way as we try to understand those we love --- and out of our own desire to learn, to better ourselves. It is a matter of humility. We know that great works are grown from seeds of sacred inspiration, and there is much that we can never explain rationally, but we still try to study them and the background behind them. Sometimes, this gives us glimpses of the creator's thoughts of feelings that we hadn't already perceived. Sometimes, it leads us to a deeper insight into our own minds. We do not intend our analyses or literary criticisms to replace the work and its original emotional impact; they are (or should be meant to) complement and enhance it, perhaps subconsciously, perhaps on a future reading. We do not intend to reduce it to its mere components, but rather to understand what they are, where they are, and how they are connected --- think of William Harvey --- and thus gain a greater understanding of the whole. A diamond is far more valuable than a photograph of a diamond; a sculpture is far more valuable than a postcard of a sculpture. These things have substance; they have many facets, and infinitely many different appearances, depending on what angle you look at them from, and on the lighting. Analysis allows us to look at a poem not just in plan view, but also through the new dimensions of rhyme, meter, cadence, and structure. Research into the background of the artist, and the context of the work, is the lighting that helps us appreciate hidden aspects of the sculpture that we might have missed in its absence --- or to see how different it appears in day and in night. In the case of music and poetry reading, both can help us prepare for a performance --- I can sight-read and improvise, but I also appreciate the value of detailed study, now that I am more mature and humble than I was as a child.
I do not say that analysis or research are necessarily the most important part of art, or an important part at all. In fact, they are often absent from the creative process itself. Those who know me well know that direct emotional impact is, to me, almost a definition of art itself. However, I do feel that some amount of study can enhance our appreciation in certain cases, and I protest against those who would universally bar me from it.
There are those who would have me look at a sculpture only in its entirety, and only from a single angle. There are those who would have me listen to music without knowing, or caring, about the person who wrote it. There are those who would cover my eyes, cage my mind, bridle my thought. It may be that they have never had the experience of enlightenment acquired through one's own effort. Unfortunately, that experience, by its very definition, is no-copy and no-transfer.
Surely, the sum of the whole and the parts is greater than the whole?
What arrogance to believe that the shallow surface of the ocean holds the secrets of the deep.
And how pernicious to demand of others the same belief to keep.
Why is it that in our society, any attempt at conscious thought leads to accusations of "being a scientist" or "being a mathematician"?
You decry religion. Yet you persecute cognition, as did the Church of four hundred years ago. Your attitude --- do not think --- is the very same one responsible for so many of the negative aspects of religion.
Burn me at the stake if you will. E pur si muove!
Thus were born mythology and natural philosophy. Our understanding of the universe is now greater than ever. And yet it does not diminish our appreciation of it --- in fact, it should increase it, to know that there is so much more out there that we cannot see with the naked eye. We understand the behavior of light, and yet this does not prevent us from enjoying a clear blue sky or a brilliant sunset. We understand how the invisible hand of the wind is able to create tiny ripples or huge ocean waves, and yet this does not prevent us from standing on the beach, alone or with company, and staring out over the sea in awe.
Similarly, after we stand admiring a great work of art, or literature, or poetry, or music, that same natural instinct --- curiosity --- may compel us to try and understand the workings of the mind of the creator, out of reverence to him or her --- in the same way as we try to understand those we love --- and out of our own desire to learn, to better ourselves. It is a matter of humility. We know that great works are grown from seeds of sacred inspiration, and there is much that we can never explain rationally, but we still try to study them and the background behind them. Sometimes, this gives us glimpses of the creator's thoughts of feelings that we hadn't already perceived. Sometimes, it leads us to a deeper insight into our own minds. We do not intend our analyses or literary criticisms to replace the work and its original emotional impact; they are (or should be meant to) complement and enhance it, perhaps subconsciously, perhaps on a future reading. We do not intend to reduce it to its mere components, but rather to understand what they are, where they are, and how they are connected --- think of William Harvey --- and thus gain a greater understanding of the whole. A diamond is far more valuable than a photograph of a diamond; a sculpture is far more valuable than a postcard of a sculpture. These things have substance; they have many facets, and infinitely many different appearances, depending on what angle you look at them from, and on the lighting. Analysis allows us to look at a poem not just in plan view, but also through the new dimensions of rhyme, meter, cadence, and structure. Research into the background of the artist, and the context of the work, is the lighting that helps us appreciate hidden aspects of the sculpture that we might have missed in its absence --- or to see how different it appears in day and in night. In the case of music and poetry reading, both can help us prepare for a performance --- I can sight-read and improvise, but I also appreciate the value of detailed study, now that I am more mature and humble than I was as a child.
I do not say that analysis or research are necessarily the most important part of art, or an important part at all. In fact, they are often absent from the creative process itself. Those who know me well know that direct emotional impact is, to me, almost a definition of art itself. However, I do feel that some amount of study can enhance our appreciation in certain cases, and I protest against those who would universally bar me from it.
There are those who would have me look at a sculpture only in its entirety, and only from a single angle. There are those who would have me listen to music without knowing, or caring, about the person who wrote it. There are those who would cover my eyes, cage my mind, bridle my thought. It may be that they have never had the experience of enlightenment acquired through one's own effort. Unfortunately, that experience, by its very definition, is no-copy and no-transfer.
Surely, the sum of the whole and the parts is greater than the whole?
What arrogance to believe that the shallow surface of the ocean holds the secrets of the deep.
And how pernicious to demand of others the same belief to keep.
Why is it that in our society, any attempt at conscious thought leads to accusations of "being a scientist" or "being a mathematician"?
You decry religion. Yet you persecute cognition, as did the Church of four hundred years ago. Your attitude --- do not think --- is the very same one responsible for so many of the negative aspects of religion.
Burn me at the stake if you will. E pur si muove!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
A Wandering Spirit
I'm beginning to wonder if I should pull out of the groups I'm currently associated with, and go and wander the world again.
I love my friends, but I don't know if I can fit into what they are doing. I just want to be happy, and make others happy. But all my friends have grand visions that get grander every week. These visions involve land. Land requires money. Lots of money. It seems to be spiralling out of control. And money is the root of all evil. It causes so much conflict. My rl alter ego continues to maintain a policy of financial independence: no money will be put into this world, and none will be taken out. But I feel this isn't fair to my friends. I feel as if I'm exploiting their hospitality, living and having fun on their land, and never paying them back for it. I do give them most of the tips I earn from concerts on their land, but this will barely make a dent in their tier fees. I still feel like an irresponsible gypsy girl and a drain on my friends' resources.
Maybe I should pack up all my things, free up the land and the prims for my friends, and become a wandering minstrel. I would work on my projects in sandboxes, and maybe peddle my wares from a caravan or at some bazaar for whatever cheap price they could sell for.
Or maybe I could get a little plot of land somewhere, initially supported with tips from performances, and set up shop on it and slowly expand a business, at my own pace, without obligations to anyone else. I would start small, and be self-supporting all the way....
I don't understand people's dreams about owning lots of land and building magnificent structures. I know why. It is because I am a musician, not an artist or sculptor or architect. Whereas others live in space, I live in time. I specialize in transient creations. Fleeting beauty. I need no prims and no land beyond a small parcel to stream from. I have copyable donuts in my inventory, which I can eat whenever I want to. I don't need money to live. I can avoid the curses of the material world. On the copy of my poem in the Truth and Beauty garden, Tyrol wrote the author's name as "Catherine Moody, Gypsy Spirit". That's what I am. A spirit, like S. and P. after they died, free to roam the world.
I love my friends, but I don't know if I can fit into what they are doing. I just want to be happy, and make others happy. But all my friends have grand visions that get grander every week. These visions involve land. Land requires money. Lots of money. It seems to be spiralling out of control. And money is the root of all evil. It causes so much conflict. My rl alter ego continues to maintain a policy of financial independence: no money will be put into this world, and none will be taken out. But I feel this isn't fair to my friends. I feel as if I'm exploiting their hospitality, living and having fun on their land, and never paying them back for it. I do give them most of the tips I earn from concerts on their land, but this will barely make a dent in their tier fees. I still feel like an irresponsible gypsy girl and a drain on my friends' resources.
Maybe I should pack up all my things, free up the land and the prims for my friends, and become a wandering minstrel. I would work on my projects in sandboxes, and maybe peddle my wares from a caravan or at some bazaar for whatever cheap price they could sell for.
Or maybe I could get a little plot of land somewhere, initially supported with tips from performances, and set up shop on it and slowly expand a business, at my own pace, without obligations to anyone else. I would start small, and be self-supporting all the way....
I don't understand people's dreams about owning lots of land and building magnificent structures. I know why. It is because I am a musician, not an artist or sculptor or architect. Whereas others live in space, I live in time. I specialize in transient creations. Fleeting beauty. I need no prims and no land beyond a small parcel to stream from. I have copyable donuts in my inventory, which I can eat whenever I want to. I don't need money to live. I can avoid the curses of the material world. On the copy of my poem in the Truth and Beauty garden, Tyrol wrote the author's name as "Catherine Moody, Gypsy Spirit". That's what I am. A spirit, like S. and P. after they died, free to roam the world.
"Je chante! Je chante soir et matin,
Je chante sur les chemins,
Je hante les fermes et les châteaux,
Un fantôme qui chante, on trouve ça rigolo
Je couche, parmi les fleurs des talus,
Les mouches ne me piquent plus
Je suis heureux, ça va, j'ai plus faim,
Heureux, et libre enfin!"
— From "Je chante" by Charles Trenet (1913-2001)
Loose translation by Catherine Moody:
"I sing! I sing from dawn to dusk,
I sing as I go on my way.
I haunt the farms and the castles I pass,
A singing ghost — how funny, people say.
I sleep among flowers on slopes of soft grass,
No longer do flies bother me.
I'm happy, and hunger's a thing of the past,
Happy, at last, and free!"
Friday, June 8, 2007
New clothes for Catherine Moody!
A long, long time ago, when I was still a newbie, I held a tea party in my makeshift house at the New Citizens Plaza in Kuula. If you've read the early posts on this blog, you might remember this story. Well, I met several interesting people that day, including Larry Anaconda, Hooper March, and Blu Laszlo.
It is interesting to see how things have developed over time and how people have grown. Larry is now one of our Brothers. At one of Lehua Lamington's storytelling sessions I ran into Hooper March, whose group was hosting the event; the group was campaigning to save the earth — a noble cause indeed. Blu is just a couple of weeks younger than me, and she was very new when I met her, but I remember that she already had a clear vision for the future. In fact, she had already begun making clothes then. While I was mucking around, Blu was hard at work setting up her business, and she now runs Cosmic Connections, a chain of eighteen clothing stores.
I hardly ever see Blu, but FD is her friend, and brought her into the Brotherhood; she made a nice t-shirt for us. When she came to visit us in Blue Hound, she gave me a lovely white lace dress with flexi armbands called "Wonderous White". I've been wearing it to formal events and concerts ever since, and people always compliment me on it. I tell them, proudly, that it was made by clothing designer Blu Laszlo and she gave it to me. It is great for dancing in, too! I always remember when Secundo took out his dance balls and said, "catherine I have to see those tassels swirl!"
The next time I saw Blu, we were floating 500 meters up in the air, having an impromptu business meeting which really wasn't my type of thing. Someone was asking alpha and FD for business advice, and FD suggested asking Blu, since she had experience. I took the opportunity to thank Blu for the dress she had given me, and to tell her that people were always admiring it. I was shocked when she then gave me nine packs of beautiful gowns and casual wear from her shop. They must have been worth thousands of linden dollars! I was so touched by her generosity. The clothes are decent, but cute, and they suit my personality perfectly! I like to think that Blu remembers me from our newbie days and she is kind to me for auld acquaintance's sake, although that's probably just my imagination... I was just one of the thousands of random people who passed through her life at some stage.
Anyway, here is me in front of the Cosmic Connections store at Shelly Bea. Do come and check it out, as well as the main store at Heartland Mall:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Heartland/112/142/23
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Fortinbras/109/24/29
This light blue top and jeans make me feel so cute. Thank you Blu!
It is interesting to see how things have developed over time and how people have grown. Larry is now one of our Brothers. At one of Lehua Lamington's storytelling sessions I ran into Hooper March, whose group was hosting the event; the group was campaigning to save the earth — a noble cause indeed. Blu is just a couple of weeks younger than me, and she was very new when I met her, but I remember that she already had a clear vision for the future. In fact, she had already begun making clothes then. While I was mucking around, Blu was hard at work setting up her business, and she now runs Cosmic Connections, a chain of eighteen clothing stores.
I hardly ever see Blu, but FD is her friend, and brought her into the Brotherhood; she made a nice t-shirt for us. When she came to visit us in Blue Hound, she gave me a lovely white lace dress with flexi armbands called "Wonderous White". I've been wearing it to formal events and concerts ever since, and people always compliment me on it. I tell them, proudly, that it was made by clothing designer Blu Laszlo and she gave it to me. It is great for dancing in, too! I always remember when Secundo took out his dance balls and said, "catherine I have to see those tassels swirl!"
The next time I saw Blu, we were floating 500 meters up in the air, having an impromptu business meeting which really wasn't my type of thing. Someone was asking alpha and FD for business advice, and FD suggested asking Blu, since she had experience. I took the opportunity to thank Blu for the dress she had given me, and to tell her that people were always admiring it. I was shocked when she then gave me nine packs of beautiful gowns and casual wear from her shop. They must have been worth thousands of linden dollars! I was so touched by her generosity. The clothes are decent, but cute, and they suit my personality perfectly! I like to think that Blu remembers me from our newbie days and she is kind to me for auld acquaintance's sake, although that's probably just my imagination... I was just one of the thousands of random people who passed through her life at some stage.
Anyway, here is me in front of the Cosmic Connections store at Shelly Bea. Do come and check it out, as well as the main store at Heartland Mall:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Heartland/112/142/23
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Fortinbras/109/24/29
This light blue top and jeans make me feel so cute. Thank you Blu!
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